Warning Signs of Infidelity
Have you noticed changes in the behavior of your spouse or significant other? Maybe you suspect these changes are due to an affair and you want to know if your suspicions are valid. Humans are, by nature, creatures of habit. We tend to do the same things, day after day, unless a significant change occurs. Entering into an affair and cheating on a loved one is one such change that could cause someone to alter their habits.
If you suspect your spouse or significant other is showing signs of infidelity or adultery, and want to know if your suspicions are valid, see the Infidelity Support Forum. Or, if you want to add more signs of infidelity, post a comment or start a thread on the forums.
Below are some common signs of infidelity, however, there are certainly other signs out there that may indicate a cheating partner. Everyone is different, and you should know your significant other better than anyone else. Be on the lookout for any strange behavior of your loved one if you suspect they may be cheating on you, because their signs may not match those presented here.
Be aware that although your loved one may be showing signs listed here, it does not necessarily mean they are cheating on you. There could be a number of other reasons for such changes in behavior, for example an honest desire for self-improvement, and they may not be due to any sort of unfaithfulness. The best approach is to look at all the signs they present to you and attempt to gather evidence based on the clues you have at hand. If you don’t feel comfortable or competent to assess your own situation, don’t feel bad. It’s more difficult to interpret the warning signs of your own significant other than it is to interpret the signs of a friend or colleague who may have a cheating partner. In many cases, it is best to hire a professional private investigator to do the work for you in a discrete and confidential manner.
General Signs of Infidelity
While there are certain signs that occur for specific types of infidelity, there are common signals that can be found in all types of affairs. These can include:
Spending more time away from home and/or you.
This can include making up excuses to stay away, such as needing to work late, extra business trips, taking an excessive amount of time running errands, spending significantly more time with friends, etc.
Strange cell phone behavior.
Hiding their cell phone from you, keeping it close to them at all times, walking out of the room to take calls, not letting you use it for any reason, turns the ringer off, takes longer to answer, doesn’t answer at all or call back for a long period of time, etc.
Excessive and secretive computer use.
Staying up later than usual to use the computer, clearing history regularly, password protecting, shutting down programs or the entire computer when you enter the room, closing the laptop abruptly, etc.
Odd behavior concerning bills and funds.
Hiding cell phone or other bills from you, strange charges or repeated calls to a number you do not recognize, unexplained receipts, using credit or debit cards less often and cash more frequently, etc.
Signs of a Sexual Affair
- No longer interested in sex as much as they used to be.
- Unusually more interested in sex and new or strange requests.
- Comes home smelling of an unknown perfume or cologne.
- Heads straight to the shower or bath when they get home.
- Cleans up or dresses better than usual for routine errands or to hang out with friends.
- Keeping a hidden change of clothing.
- Missing contraceptives (condom, diaphragm) or finding such devices when you do not use them.
- Increased attention to physical appearance.
Signs of an Emotional Affair
- Emotionally distant, or physically distant (needs personal time or space)
- Reluctant to make plans for future, expresses concerns about the relationship and its future.
- Shows a lack of interest in you or the routine established in relationship.
- Becomes overly defensive or confrontational, may project behavior and/or accuse you of cheating.
- Less expressive of their feelings and less excitement to be around and do things with you.
- Unusual mood swings, seems depressed and confused.
- Pays less attention to conversations, as though their thoughts were elsewhere.
- Blames you for everything, finds fault in you attempting to justify their behavior.
Signs of Infidelity in a Marriage
- Loses wedding ring or does not wear it.
- Removing family pictures from wallet.
- Sudden changes in interest after children are born.
- Loss of desire for sex after marriage starts to become routine.
- Shows signs of an itch for something new.
- Signs of mid-life crisis effecting the relationship.
Please see our list of Infidelity and Adultery Links and References for source information.
April 12th, 2010 at 6:58 pm
How about these:
* Stays up when you (innocent spouse) go to bed but goes to bed if you stay up. They sleep all the way over on their side of the bed.
* They used to sleep in the nude or wearing very little but now they wear full length pajamas.
* They are often interested in your work schedule. Because they are going to cheat around your schedule not theirs.
* Since you know their schedule, you call them during a time when they should answer their cell phone but they don’t. They then call you back a few moments later with a well thought of reason for not answering the phone. It was on vibrate, I didn’t hear it, my battery was low;etc. When you call your spouse on their cell phone and they don’t answer immediately but call you back moments later and this happens continuously, then they are with someone or they are somewhere you would not approve of.
* High mileage on their vehicle but when you asked them how their day was, they don’t mention any long trips. Check the mileage on their vehicle (without them knowing) before you leave for the day and then again when you get home. Use the excuse that you were in their car checking for some spare change for the soda or coffee machine at work.
* You know your spouse is a neat freak, but when you get home from work it is obvious that no house chores were done. Because that time was used for something or someone else.
* They guard their electronics (laptop, cell phone) like it’s Fort Knox. Purposely leave your laptop or cell phone in your car after work and later in the evening ask your spouse if you can use theirs because you left yours in your car and watch the response you get. Someone with nothing to hide will not act possessive or request to input the password themselves, or request to use it before you do. If they do it will be to cover their tracks and dispose any evidence they left on the computer or cell phone.
* They will begin to neglect you. Though this is emotional it will manifest physically. You will work all day and come home and no dinner is prepared for you. You have to prepare your own lunches for work because she is simply too tired or too busy.Although you are the bread winner and sacrifice to feed and clothe her, no sacrifices will be made for you.
* Any event that comes up out of the blue will never be a inconvenience to her schedule (because it was already planned) but presented to you like it came up out of the blue. Oh by the way “Suzy” called me and wants me to help her with this or help her with that. Oh “Mary” wants me to drive her to Such and such a place. Oh my “study group” from school are going to meet and study for our upcoming test. Ok, where will you guys meet? Oh we haven’t decided yet but “they’re” gonna let everyone know. No matter what comes up, it will always be when they are off but during the time frame and day that you are scheduled to work.
* Watch out for open alibi’s. This is what they give you when you say…honey I tried to call you today is your cell phone working ok? They’ll respond with, I was at the store, I was at the library,I was at the pharmacy,or I was dropping off your dry cleaning dear. No matter where they were it will always be a place that cannot be validated by another person that you both know. They will never say I took the kids to the park with our neighbor and her kids, because you can check up on that. They will never say that they were with a person that you both know, because they know you can check that out.
* No matter what “comes up” out of the blue in your spouse’s life, it never comes up when you are off work and at home.
* Your schedule is the key to exposing them, not theirs. They will plan everything around your schedule. If you are off from work on Saturday and Sunday, then Monday and Friday,are the days you want to target to watch your spouse’s activities closely. Remember, this is emotional. With that said, your spouse knows you will be home on Saturday and Sunday and they will not be able to see their “other” on those days. They may try to see them on Friday knowing they won’t see them for two days, or they might see them on Monday, knowing they haven’t seen them for two days. Whatever your work schedule may be, your Friday and Monday are crucial. Watch your spouse and their activities closely on these days. Do they try to avoid you sexually on these days?
* Occasionally come home early unannounced on your Friday or Monday.Use anything as an excuse and don’t fell guilty. You have the right to know if something is going on. Say, I wasn’t feeling well or I have some vacation to burn up so I left work early. They’ll reply, you should have called me to let me know, while dismissing the fact that every other time you call them they don’t answer the cell phone.
* Has the other been in your home? Purposely leave the toilet seats down in each bathroom. If the seats are up when you get home, then a male has used your bathroom. Check the dishwasher and the kitchen. Have dishes and flatware for two been used? Most people think the bedroom will be the tell tale but not so. Your spouse will cover their tracks like an experienced burglar and you will find no evidence of an affair there. On the other hand they will pay so much attention to the bedroom, they will slip up and leave evidence in the kitchen and bathroom.
* Take note when your spouse answers a question with a question. Where were you when I called? Where was I? or What time is that hair appointment you made? What time is my hair appointment? Whenever you ask a question and get a question in the form of an answer, they are trying to think of something to say.
* If you run into a mutual female friend that you and your wife both know and they ask how are you and…..(your wife’s name). How are things with you and……(your wife’s name). Are you and….(your wife’s name) still together? Women confide in women. Your wife may have at some point confided in this female friend that she had an affair. Mutual friends who may have knowledge of an affair may not say anything verbally but will look at your hand to see if you’re wearing your wedding ring. This let’s them know that you’re still married and together.
I know this information was very lengthy but I hope it helps someone.
April 17th, 2010 at 8:17 pm
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