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Ways to Catch a Cheater

Anyone cheating on their spouse or partner will want to keep this a closely guarded secret, at least from the one they are cheating on. At first it may seem difficult to discover the truth, but with information and minor investigation you may end up discovering more than you ever wanted to find. Take care, however, in your methods of detection, as you may end up hurting yourself or your loved one unecessarily.

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Discovery by Mistake

The most common way a cheater gets caught is by mistake. Either carelessness on their part, or a random change in your own pattern of behavior gets them caught in the act. For example, your boss might send you home early one day, and your loved one is at home cheating on you, surprised by your early arrival. Or you may be out running some errands and see your cheating partner through the window of a restaurant on a date when they told you they were working late at the office. Although this is the most likely way a cheater will get caught, it provides little help to someone who actively wishes to catch their cheating partner. However, purposefully making random changes to behavior or making a point to drive by a favorite restaraunt when the suspicion of cheating exists can yeild results. You may just waste your time, but you may also catch them in the act.

Initiating Survelliance

Survelliance is the best way to gather proof of someone cheating. Surveilliance can come in many forms, including audio, video, photo and computer survelliance. Maybe you can place a hidden camera at home if you think the cheating is taking place while you are gone. You could install a monitoring software package such as a keylogger on their computer.

Take care before you begin survelliance of your loved one. There are possible legal problems that might arise, and in general it is an invasion of privacy. If it turns out they are not cheating on you and you went to extreme measures to monitor their activities, it may be you that has betrayed their trust. If they find out you have been monitoring them, the results could be much worse than you expected. In many cases it is best to hire a professional private investigator to discretely and confidentially perform such survelliance to keep yourself out of harm’s way.

Information Gathering and Monitoring

One of your best methods to detect whether or not your partner is cheating is to keep track of information. Look at cell phone and bank records, credit card statements, atm withdrwals, etc. Keep records of emails and voicemails sent between you and your loved one. Maybe they sent you an email saying they were at the office working late, and later in a conversation said something to the contrary. If you kept that email or voicemail you have evidence of a lie. Make sure you have multiple sources of information and evidence before you try to present it and catch them with their own lies, as they will often come up with excuses or claim they made a mistake. If you have a number of such instances, the chances of them all being mistakes gets smaller and smaller, and the chance of it being a lie is almost a certainty.

Confrontation

While it may seem reasonable to simply question and accuse your suspected cheating partner of an affair, this is the worst possible choice before gathering information and evidence. No cheater will be willing to admit to the affair, as they have already gone to great lengths to keep it a secret. In fact, confronting or questioning them with little or insufficient evidence will make it easier for them to continue cheating. By ‘showing your hand’ too soon they will know you are on to them, and take more precautions in the future. Also, if you show insufficient evidence they will know what mistakes they are making and come up with excuses and ways of hiding their mistakes in the future.

Confrontation should only occur once you have sufficient evidence and confidence that they will not be able to lie their way out of what you have discovered. When confronting and presenting evidence, it is important to take it step by step. If you present your evidence piece by piece and see how the cheater responds and tries to explain their way out of it, you may find them directly contradicting another piece of evidence you have obtained. By doing this, it will become easy to catch a cheater in a web of their own lies.

It is important to ensure your own safety when you decide to confront a cheating partner. Depending on the person and situation, revealing a partner’s unfaithfulness and exposing their lies may cause that person to become extremely emotional, defensive, and possibly even violent. In many cases it is best to have a friend or family member with you to back you up in case any dangerous situations arise. While it is best not to crowd them with a room full of friends and family, one or two witnesses can prove invaluable emotional and physical support to you while you bring the truth to light. As always, you know your partner best and should be prepared for the worst even if you decide to try to salvage the relationship and move on.

Take care when excersing any means of detecting a cheating partner. No one likes or wants to have their lies and unfaithfulness exposed. Also, it may be more difficult than you initially believe to catch them as you never know what lengths a cheating partner will go to protect their secrets. If you are not confident you can gather evidence yourself or worried for your own safety, please seek professional advice or services from a private investigator.

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